College Humor Movies

Something (boredom) inspired me to watch all the college humor videos. Well, most sucked, but some were really funny/cool:

It's not even my chicken

I need a herd of fainting goats.

Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

Cool flash animation

I want some magic sand!

Stewie from Family guy singing Eminen? Amusing.

I Bet These Guys Get All The Chicks

If you are using firefox, and no video is showing, there are several solutions to your problem.

1. Configure firefox to play windows media player files by following these instructions. (This page shouldn't intimidate you. You can skip the background, just follow the really simple instructions starting with "ActiveX Installation".)
2. Open my blog in Internet Explorer (boo!)
3. Check this out from the source: college humor. (This may or may not have the same problem.)

And I'm worth...

I am worth $1,959,880 on HumanForSale.com.

I found the link on Ginny's blog. Sucks that she's worth more than me, but oh well. Leave what you're worth in the comments section...

Illegal Graffiti?

A man in Chicago was arrested today for painting the words "big lie" on an highway underpass. It is kind of sad to me that the only reason he is really being arrested for this graffiti is that he painted over a stain that some people felt resembled the Virgin Mary. A stain. I am sorry, but that is ridiculous. I mean, the man did commit a crime, and in general, I am not in favor of allowing people to deface public property. But that's not where I get lost. Do you see the virgin Mary in the picture? I honestly see a penis. From the article:

"Worldwide, people have been drawn to images believed to resemble the Virgin Mary seen on windows, fence posts and walls."

I am just befuddled. I guess it's the same thing as that lady who say the Virgin Mary in her grilled cheese. Weird? I know you people don't like to leave comments, but if anyone can explain this, phenominon, please do. Or agree with me (which is always fine).

Carolina Basketball: Why We Will Be OK

A while back I promised I'd write this, and then I forgot. But since Knechtel asked where it was (and since I'm stuck at work for 5 hours today and I can't bring myself to start studying for my exam 6 days before), here goes. Also, much of my readership seems to be people who are going to know a lot of this...this is more targeted at the non-guru type. And this did turn out to be rather long...so read at your own risk ;)

UNC loses its top seven scores for next year. Our leading returning scorer is David Noel, who averaged 3.9 points/game last year. The only other players who saw any action last year who are coming back are Reyshawn Terry and Quentin Thomas. Between the three of them, they scored 244 points last season. That's 6.6 points/game. Should we (as Tar Heel fans) be scared? Should the rest of the ACC be drooling for another 8-20 season?

A little. And no.

The odds of a repeat are not good for the Tar Heels. I guess if there's one bright side to come from all of this, there is no chance of having to hear the phrase "The most talented team in America" (and yes, this is not really a complement). Here are a few things we do have going for us next year:

~Three really solid players who have yet to show us what they can do.

After his freshman season, when he was playing a lot of minutes, Carolina fans were declaring that David Noel was a future NBA player. I am not going to go that far, but on last year's team, David wasn't needed for his scoring. We needed him to come in and play good defense (which he does an excellent job of), and rebound. This year, David should have a chance to be more of a leader. I think he can play in that roll.

Reyshawn Terry is a 6'8 shooting guard. 6'8! He has average handles (that's dribbling ability), and shot 60% from 3 last season (though he only took 20 3 point attempts). There is a lot of potential here that we haven't seen because he played less than 4 minutes/game last season. His big weakness was his defense. It just lacks intensity. That, and whenever an opponent drove towards the basket, Rey would leave his man and go for the steal, leaving his man wide open. But if anyone can get intensity and smarts out of him, it's Roy Williams, especially now that Rey hold a large part of Roy's focus. Did I mention he's 6'8?

Quentin Thomas was scary at time last year. He seemed out of control, and he didn't shot much (only 22 shots all season). And he only played 6.3 minutes a game. People took all of that to mean that he couldn't handle the ball, and that he couldn't shoot. This assumption is flat out untrue. Here is Quentin's scouting report coming out of highschool:

"One of the elite point guard prospects in the country, Thomas is the total package. Long and quick, with a great feel for the game, Thomas is very skilled with the ball. He can break down defenses to get his own shot or, more often, to create for a teammate. He can shoot out to three-point range with a good, not great, outside shot."

UNC has been forced to play a lot of players lately as soon as they stepped on the floor (Jawad, Ray, Sean, and Rashad). We must remember, this is not the norm. Many great players don't emerge until later in their college careers. Ideally, they shouldn't have to, assuming there are upper classman still present. Quentin has a chance to improve a lot this summer. He will never be Raymond Felton. Still, Q should be a pretty good ACC point guard.

~A top-five incoming class

UNC's incoming class is currently ranked 5th in the nation. With a few expected NBA deflections from other teams, UNC should climb to 4th (or possibly 3rd).

Tyler Hansbrough is the anchor of the class. He is consistently ranked in the top ten players in the class. Tyler is a 6'9 power forward who should start his first game at UNC. He is the most intense player I have ever watched first hand on the AAU circuit (which is admittedly a smaller pool than what Jeff or others may have seen). He goes for every rebound like his life depends on it. He goes hard to the basket with the basketball, and gets fouled. A lot. And he hits around 80% of his free throws. He was named co-MVP of the Jordan Classic All-Star Game.

Marcus Ginyard a player I've seen play many times. He is 6'4, and can play either guard position or small forward. Roy has started that Marcus is the best defensive player that he has ever recruited. But beyond his defense, Marcus is also a good scorer, though he didn't have too much of a chance to show it playing for the loaded Boo Williams AAU team. People are quick to compare Marcus to Jackie Manuel. They are both about 6'4 or 6'5 and excellent defenders, but the comparison stops there. While Marcus is not quite the athlete that Jackie is, Marcus is a very solid ball handler, and has some experience playing point guard (and while it was obvious that point was not his best position, he did alright).

Danny green is a 6'5 shooting guard. He just finished second in the McDonald's All American 3-point shooting contest, and lead his highschool team to become the best team in New York State.

Bobby Frasor is another excellent shooter, who can handle the ball. He is known as a good scorer, and he can do so in so many different ways.

Finally, UNC is still recruiting 6'8 Uche Echefu. Uche is incredibly strong, and willing to bang around in the post. Beyond that, Uche is just the type of kid you want to root for.

"It's important to note the kind of student this guy is. What’s important to Uche, isn't what's important to most college-bound kids. He just wants to go back to Nigeria and help his family run their business. He is here in the U.S. to educate himself and it just so happens that he's a pretty good basketball player and that's the avenue that will help him get where he needs to be. He hasn't seen his family in a few years. He's made a tremendous sacrifice, as big as any kid in the country, when you leave your family and haven't seen them in a long time. So here’s a kid who has worked real hard on his game, and he's done it without his family and thousands of miles from home. He's not here for the quick fix. He wants to get the paper to certify himself as a college graduate and if he plays pro ball so be it, but his main goal is to one day get back home to be with his family." - Dave Telep, Scout.com

Uche is trying to choose between Florida State, Maryland, Kentucky, and UNC. Were UNC to land Uche, we would probably have the second best class, behind only dook.

~Defense

UNC's team will lack experience, but they will have a chance to make up for it by playing defense. Roy Williams always stresses defense, and the squad next year will be equipped to play it. The team should be a tall, quick, and long team. And assuming that David, Rey, Q, and Tyler all start, that gives UNC four starters at 6'4 or taller.

~Coaching

Roy Williams is one of the top coaches coaching today. And while managing all the great players we had last year was not as easy as you might think, now he gets a chance to show what can do with a younger, less experienced roster. Roy will never lose 20 games in a season. Having talent is nice, but as he said in one of the NCAA press conferences, "You can pick any five players that you want in the NBA or college or anything, and if have five other guys that play together as a team, I'll beat you and I'll beat you a lot because that’s just the nature of the game."

Something's missing, eh?

I miss hockey. This is the first time I've felt that way all year. But now I do. If one were to look at the sports year as the afterlife, we are currently making our swift free-fall from the Carolina Blue Heaven (March Madness) towards the 7th layer of hell (July/August, where there is nothing but baseball). And as we breeze through April-June, the NHL playoffs used to provide some resistance. There is still the NBA playoffs, who's entertainment value is boosted further by my Pistons are not only being really good, but also that they play the game the right way :) But I digress... The NHL regular season is boring. 8:00 am english 011 with a hangover boring. But the playoffs are exciting. The hockey always seems to go into sudden death. The players are more intense. The games are intense. They matter. And no lead is insurmountable.

So here's to the players getting their heads out of their asses and coming back to the game! I never thought I'd miss hockey, but I do.

Why Girls Should Date Dorks

Some true, some extreme...at least mildly amusing...(Copied from this site.)

In the wide world of dating, there are many options. Do you go for the flashy guy with the smooth smile, or the dude in the corner typing away on his laptop? The following are reasons why I think my fellow females should pay more attention to the quiet geeks and nerds, and less attention to the flashy boys.

1.) While geeks and nerds may be awkward, they’re well-meaning 9 out of 10 times. That smooth dude with the sly grin and the spider hands? Wonder what HIS intentions are... plus, I’ve never had a geek guy not call me when he said he would. Score major points THERE.

2.) They’re useful. In this tech-savvy world, it’s great to have a b/f who can make your laptop, desktop, and just about anything else that plugs into a wall behave itself.

3.) They’re more romantic than they’re given credit for. Ok true, their idea of romance might be to make up a spiffy web-page with all the reasons why they love you, with links to pics of you and sonnets and such... but hey. It lasts longer than flowers, plus you can show your friends.

4.) Due to their neglected status, there are plenty to choose from. You like ‘em tall and slender? There are plenty of geeks/nerds who are. You like ‘em smaller with more meat on their bones? Got that too.

5.) They’ve got brains. Come on now, how can intelligence be a bad thing?

6.) Most are quite good at remembering dates. Like birthdates and such, especially if they know it’ll make you happy. Due again to their neglected status, they’re more attentive than guys who “have more options”. Plus, with all that down time without a steady girlfriend, they’ll likely have mental lists of all the things they’d love to do once they GOT a girlfriend.

7.) Sex. Yep. Sex. I’m not really familiar with this myself, but I’ve friends who’ve been intimate with geek guys and it’s raves all around. They say a virgin wrote the Kama Sutra... all that time thinking about sex, imagining sex, dreaming about sex, (they are male after all) coupled with a desire to make you happy? Use your imagination.

8.) They’re relatively low-maintenance. Most can be fueled on pizza, Twinkies and Mt Dew. No complicated dinners needed here, so if you’re not the best cook, eh. Can you order a pizza?

9.) Most frequent bars as often as slugs frequent salt mines. You won’t have to worry much about your geek guy getting his “groove” on with club hotties because, frankly, he’ll be too busy rooting around under his computer wondering where that spare cable went. You won’t have to worry about him flirting with other women because, 9 out of 10 times, he’ll zip right by them in a perfect b-line towards the nearest electronics store. I’ve seen this happen.
Me: “Eww. Victoria Secret’s Models... They’re so skinny. How is that feminine? You can see her ribs!”
Geek Guy: “ooooooo...”
Me: “Hey!” *notices he is staring lustfully towards the computer store*
Geek Guy: “What?”
Me: “Never mind...”

10.) Although he may not want to go to every outing with you, you can arrange swaps, as in, you’ll go to his Gamer Con dressed as an elf princess if he’ll take you to the ballet. Plus, if he doesn’t want to go someplace with you, you won’t have to worry much about what he’s up to. You’ll probably come home to find him asleep on his keyboard in a sea of Mt. Dew cans with code blinking from the screen. It’s ok. He’s used to this. Just toss a blanket over him and turn out the light.

11.) His friends aren’t jerks. I can’t stress this enough. You’ll more likely get “Omg! A GIRL!! Can I see?!” than “Hey hot stuff back that ass up here and let me get some grub on...” They’re awkward geeks too and will, 9 times out of 10, treat you with the utmost respect and, more than likely, a note of awe. A cute girl picked one of their clan to date? It could happen to them! Hope! Drag some of your single girlfriends over, open up a pack of Mt. Dew, crack open the DnD set and get working. Nothing impresses geek guys more than a girl who can hack-n-slash (well ok maybe if she can code... a geek can dream).

12.) They’re rarely if ever possessive. They trust you, so you can be yourself around them. You like to walk around the house in a ratty t-shirt for comfort? He won’t care. He does too! They won’t get pissy if you don’t wear make-up or don’t want to bother primping your hair. If you gain a few pounds, they won’t try their best to make you feel like crap.

13.) They’re usually very well educated. Physics majors and the like. See #5. You won’t have to listen to him blathering on about his car (ok maybe a little), he’ll have loads of other interesting things to talk about. Politics, world events, how much the chicken burgers down at the local place rock, so long as you douse them in hot sauce...

14.) You’ll almost never have to hear, “Yaw dawg whazzap!!” plop out of their mouths. Unless it’s in jest. They spell properly, use correct punctuation, and are able to tell the difference between the toilet and the floor. They almost never get “wasted”, so you won’t have to worry about coming home to find him and his friends passed out on the floor amidst a pile of beer bottles. Mt. Dew cans, perhaps...

15.) And the final reason why geeks and nerds make great boyfriends: They actually give a damn about you. Not how you look (though that’s a plus), not how skinny you are, not how much make-up you primp yourself up with, but they like you for you. That kind of thing lasts longer than “DaMN baby you got a fine ass!!!” Believe me.

Something Fun

Ok, so since my last post may have sucked, and since it's been a while, here's some fun stuff:

• Breakdancing Transformers
• An addictive Game
• Just make sure your sound it on...
• Studybreak Dance

Funny, or I've been studying too long?

So I came across what I think it someone else's answer to last year's Comp118 final exam question. Maybe I've just been staring at this too long, so it seems funny, but wow...

Let’s say, just for hypothetical reasons that I still had dignity or shame, and did not want general people to see it, yet I wanted to be able to give the video up one day to one of my coworkers that saw the incident. This comes into the realm of access. I may not want grandma to ever see any of my college drinking and whoring pictures, but all my close buddies will give me approval for them, thus grandma gets limited access in comparison to my friends. Due to this, I will have to find a way to restrict access to some files while granting it to others. Or kill grandma. You know, whatever.

And...

And this is the story of a user visiting the MVC family. The plan is to have the current web page pass whatever the user wants to accomplish to a Controller class servlet, which would equate to the belligerent drunk father of the program that tells everything what to do. For every problematic father class, we will add in a model class who will take on the role of the mother who denies that there is a problem at all with the fathers control issues. This model/mother class will act as the interface to the database, which is basically calling a friend when she needs help with anything. The View Components (Kids) or Web Pages are actually produced by a combination of XML code tossed into the Controller Father class and the Controllers ex-wife class, XMLTransformer. Together the Father Controller class and the ex-wife XMLTransformer make lots of Web page babies, and make a new one each time the user hits a button. Think Rabbits. The new mommie Model hates the ex-wife XMLTransformer, so they never talk. They just communicate rarely through the deadbeat Controller daddy class. Whenever a user clicks a button, the daddy Controller class gets a phone call about one of his kids in trouble again, so the daddy Controller yells at the mother Model class, blames her family for their programming problems, and then he has to go find that child XML string in particular. Once he finds the child XML string, he beats it religiously and the crying XML string runs to its actual mother, the ex-wife XMLTransformer. She consoles the XML string with gay uncle XSL style sheet, who dresses the XML string quite well, and tells the XML kid string that one day it will go into a cocoon and emerge into a beautiful web page. And it does. As in this crazy browser called life.
If by chance the father Controller yells at the mother Model class and tells her that the user is actually requesting something, say information or a tall glass of water, then the mother gets super nervous and comes to the conclusion that she doesn’t know anything. So Model mother calls her mother, aptly named Grandma mySQL (grandmas maiden name is Database). Like most grandmothers, Grandma mySQL can answer any question, even if its long, drawn out, and has no useful information or redeeming qualities. Grandma mySQL tells the mother how to pour the glass of water, the Model mother says “oh I’m so retarded” and makes the glass of water. Then she asks the father to give the nice visitor the glass of water, but he is drunk and has a lot of children to emotionally scar, so he gives the water to an XML kid string that he beats. The XML kid, sobbing once again, runs to the ex-wife XMLTransformer and gay uncle XSL and they realize that she had good reason for leaving her ex husband. She again fills her child with delusions of grandeur about being a beautiful web page and the little tyke XML string does in fact become a beautiful webpage (assuming the kid is wearing a photoshoped T-shirt). With new found fervor, the webpage returns the requested water to the user, and thus dehydration is no longer the tragic villain in the MVC family.

Ok, since I am no convinced that most of you probably didn't find this funny, I promise something interesting soon...